We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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