im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
