I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
