Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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