all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
