I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
