Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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