I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
