New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
