I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Are my feet made of real feet?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
