he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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