so explain again why im purple
no
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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