my room smells like sperm. sweet.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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