I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
