I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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