I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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