Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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