Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
