im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
