i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
