tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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