I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
