Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
