Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
