btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
and she was petting her beer can
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
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