we have officially lost it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Randomize
