Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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