My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
