Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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