are you still at the devil's house?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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