So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
