okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
