Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
