Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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