i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
