i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
