i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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