Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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