Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
