I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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