well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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