Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
