My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
