Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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