Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
