no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
