I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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