He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
