Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize