I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
