i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
