Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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