Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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