I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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