i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
