I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I would ride that face into the sunset
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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