Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
im six kinds of drunk right now
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
