When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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