Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize