Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
