They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
