Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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