Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
