Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
