So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
