He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
