Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
