She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
